Are You Listening Brother John?

Are You Listening Brother John?

Over the last month or so, I am been fascinated watching people communicate.  It's interesting to witness people talk over one another or check out of a conversation.  We all do it at one point or another: talk over someone, interrupt someone or zone out of a conversation.

Recent Gallup research found that $280 billion is lost in the U.S. economy due to poor communication skills in the workplace.  This is staggering.  The research found that when management critically communicates with employees, the employees disengage and illness increases by 25%.  If management ignores employees, the disengagement and illness increases to 45%. However, if management provides their employees with positive feedback, disengagement falls to less than 1% and illness lowers as well.

When we fully engage in listening, whether it is with a co-worker, a child or our spouse, the speaker's brain responds with the amygdala calming down.  The amygdala creates the fight, flight or freeze response in the brain.  It triggers the deer-in-the-headlights response that all humans and all animals carry.  It’s the place where fear and anxiety develops in our brain.

So we when we fully engage our listening skills, the speaker's central nervous system actually cause that person to calm down.  When this happens it creates limbic resonance, which is the capacity for two people to tune into one another's deep, inner states.  Therefore, when we listen intently, our relationships deepen and become more meaningful.  Maybe if we start listening at a deeper level, people will begin to listen more ardently to us.  It could be become a cultural phenomenon.

This type of listening is called active listening.  It is a skill, something we all can learn and practice.  Here are some tips on how to improve your active listening skills:

1.  Face the speaker

2.  Maintain eye contact without staring.  This helps limit distractions.

3.  Focus your attention on what the speaker is saying.

4.  Minimize internal distractions. If you start to plan your response or you zone out, simply bring your attention back to fully focusing on the speaker is saying.

5.  Listen to the speaker with a sense of respect.  Remember they are another soul having a human experience, just like you.

6.  Not only focus on what the person is saying, try to understand the point they are trying to communicate.


For further information you can reach Leta Bell at www.LetaBell.com